Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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