i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
