how can u be prego again
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
