please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I can't turn off my feet"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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