sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
