some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
