I think I am morally bankrupt
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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