Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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