whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
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Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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