Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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