it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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