I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize