So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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