she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
