Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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