her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
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I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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