How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
