I wish I could punch you in the face.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize