I can text with my tongue
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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