I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
