If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize