Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
