did you get engaged???
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
nutella sex= disaster
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
