I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
