dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
