Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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