Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
