My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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