dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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