i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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