i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize