Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
