i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
