Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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