After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
