Nicole vs. Life
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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