Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize