You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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