Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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