We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
