cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
