just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
