I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
