we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
