Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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