:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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