cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
