I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
