U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
