I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
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I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
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It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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