its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize