you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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