margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Randomize
