??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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