My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
