So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
