Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
