He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
