So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i've created a new STD.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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