Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
