allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
