I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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