I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
