I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
